A Birthday Of Books

Last Monday I became one year shy of my allotted three-score-and-ten by having another birthday. My birthday loot included an armload of books. I love books. Always have. I even went to book college and got two commercially useless degrees in the reading of books. Now that’s real love.

Sometimes I prefer books to people. There are reasons for this. Books never borrow money, break promises, give unwanted advice or get jealous of other books on your shelves. Another plus: once you’ve enjoyed them, you can nod off without having to sleep on a wet spot.

Books can transport you to any point in the universe without making you take off your shoes and get petted by a TSA person prior to departure. I mean, you can still take off your shoes and get petted before reading a book if that’s your thing, but it’s a personal choice and not a government regulation enforced by people who are paid to pet other people in socks.

You don’t even have to leave home to enjoy a book, unless it’s to go to the library to get more books. I treasure my library card more than my credit card.

Unlike credit card companies, public libraries don’t charge interest and send huffy letters when books are overdue. Instead libraries politely inquire with “Have you forgotten?” notices written with motherly concern.

Libraries do have fines for overdue books of course, but it’s chump change compared to the extortion demanded by credit card companies for overdue payments. You get the impression that if you don’t cough up the overdue amount plus interest and fees, the credit card company will have people with names like Guido and No Neck kneecap your credit rating with Louisville Sluggers.

Local governments can be a threat to books. Public libraries are the most vulnerable of services when budget time rears its snarling head. The result is often reduced staff, limited  hours and fewer purchases of new books.

The electronic medium is also eating away at the printed word. Television has already chewed a big chunk out of the newspaper industry, even though the script for a 30 minute newscast would not fill a single column of the newspaper you used to read.

Personal computers with Internet capability are also nibbling their way into the print medium, but in some cases, marriages of convenience are arranged between books and computers. Libraries that can afford computers have digitalized their card catalogues, although those big varnished cabinets with their drawers of Dewey Decimaled cards still have a prominent spot in libraries. They're usually near a reference desk or a counter with a real human being behind it, a kindly person who can patiently direct you to the book with the answer to your goofiest question. Such people are saints.

You can order books on-line, and even read them on your computer with some services, but reading them on a glowing screen lacks the comforting feel of a hefty hardback in your hands.

Books can also decorate a room and make their owner seem scholarly and wise. A room full of computer screens will brand their owner as a nerd. Plus books don’t go dark during power failures and are not subject to having their contents erased by a computer virus or an electronic bug. The only bugs books get are silverfish and maybe a stray spider, but both are easily dispatched without having to call someone in Bangalore or Manila for customer service.

I agree with a 19^th Century writer named Edward George Bulwer-Lytton who wrote “Master books but do not let them master you. Read to live, not live to read.”

But then, he was also the author of the line “It was a dark and stormy night,” so I wouldn’t make too much book on his counsel.

* * *

Some pals write:

Oh, Mike, how I love your stories .... I really, really do! -- Tia

Thanks for these.  Always great to read them. -- Angel

I enjoyed reading the essay and love having time to read books now that I am retired. Happy birthday. Some of my cartoons will be published in my college class's 50th reunion book. -- Ken

They'll make a nice permanent memory.

Wonderful stuff.  You make me want to grab a book and find a well-lit comfortable spot.  Too much time on the computer these days. --  Mike C.

As always Mike thanks. Some write some do. I had to quit writing before I became so huge as to be house bound. The next adventure is from St Paul to New Orleans By Canoe and Kayak. You are invited to come along -- Nick

No thanks. For me, a trip to the mailbox is all I can manage.

Such a well-woven together essay; you never cease to impress me. -- Galen

Thank you. I know you are not easily impressed.

As much as I fancy computers and keyboards, I still find great comfort in writing out longhand all kinds of things I think about in my journal from time to time, and on my shelves are past ones, full now, next to poems and favorite books. A line of computer-generated stuff just isn't the same kind of comfort, is it? -- Zoey

Nope.

So?  When can we see all this in a nice bound volume? -- Larry

That’s a good question.

Another priceless gem, Mike! Thanks for sending another great piece my way. -- Amanda

I enjoyed this, Mike. Happy birthday, Buddy. Nice to see you're still doing this. Say hi to Jerry [Brown] next time you're downtown and tell him Scotty Miller's keeping the faith in Seattle. I hope he can fix some of what's broken. -- Rusty

Knowing the good governor, he’ll make things worse with good intentions.

Zounds!  Many happy returns of the day. Good TT! -- Albert

Love the kind words about books and libraries -- Karen

Excellent. -- CDB

In my eyes, you are like a good book! Thanks, for another good read -- P&P

Thanks for sending! -- Eve

Thank you for the break -- Carol

Always a treat, Mike. I have arthritis in my hands that makes holding a book and turning pages very difficult. I read almost exclusively on the computer now, and I miss the feel of books in my hot little hands! -- Linda

So nice to have a new Tomatoman Times! -- Diane

Happy Birthday, fellow Aries! I've come to love my Kindle more than actual books. Hope all is well with you -- Babe/Cyn

Happy Birthday, Mike! -- Pamela

Sooo good. I lol'd, literally, and I really needed to do that today. Thanks.

P.S. I'm sharing to Facebook, with or without your permission. -- Sum

Wonderful article about the value of books, those actual items of written word that nestle in your hands and your eyes can feast on the words. I love books. My life would not be complete without them. I am not into the electronic reading things, myself. I prefer to hold a real book in my hands. Thanks Mike for another terrific essay. -- Peggy

Always enjoy the arrival of Tomatoman Times in my emai box. -- Ldy
Always a treat, Mike. I have arthritis in my hands that makes holding a book and turning pages very difficult. I read almost exclusively on the computer now, and I miss the feel of books in my hot little hands! -- Linda

So nice to have a new Tomatoman Times! -- Diane

Happy Birthday, fellow Aries! I've come to love my Kindle more than actual books. Hope all is well with you -- Babe/Cyn

Thank alla yas for the kind words. Hell, thanks for reading this stuff in the first place. MB