I must have jinxed Alex Trebek. He suffered a mild coronary after I met him years ago, and this week he injured his Achilles tendon chasing a hotel burglar who had tried to rob him in San Francisco. Just call me an old egocentric, but I do feel somehow responsible. Let me explain.
There I was, not at my brightest at 7:30 one Saturday morning while attending a conference of the Sacramento Public Relations Society in the gymnasium at American River College. I had been invited to appear on a panel discussion as one the representatives of the news media. A magazine, in my case, but the coffee in my Styrofoam cup had not kicked in as I wandered around, greeting people whose names I remembered and nodding at people whose names I’d forgotten, hoping I wouldn’t doze off on the dais during the Q & A with the audience.
Then I spotted a guy who looked vaguely familiar standing off by himself, far apart from the clusters of gabbing publicists and reporters. He looked sad and abandoned, so Gladhand Galahad Browne just had to come to his rescue. It’s a character flaw of mine that can lead to embarrassing moments. This was one of them.
“Hello,” I said. “Who are you?”
The man looked at me like I was a talking plant. “Trbk,” he mumbled.
“I’m sorry, who?”
“Trbk.”
“Oh. My name is Mike,” I said, as none of us were wearing stick-on name tags identifying ourselves and our organizations, which prompted my next question:
“So, Mr. Trbk, who are you with?”
Well, shoot. I am just not a morning person but I am a Jeopardy fan, and after it finally sank in that I was talking to Alex Trebek, I wondered if Alzheimer’s was beginning to dodder my way in a walker. Then again, I didn’t expect to meet His Trebekness or any other national celebrity in a junior college gym in Sacramento at 7:30 on a Saturday morning either.
And I guess he didn’t expect to be greeted like a wholesale tire distributor at a regional sales conference. No chauffeured limo had met him at the airport. No little girl in a communion dress had presented him with a bouquet of roses, and the mayor and city council must have been having a working weekend somewhere. I am not sure if a conference official had met him at the airport either, not even one of our work-at-home-moms with a kitchen table public relations agency and an SUV with toddlers in back.
Even social equality has its limits, and Mr. Trebek thought so too. “Whenever you have a celebrity visit, try to make a bit of a fuss over him,” he told the conference during his address.
Yes, well I really should make amends to Mr. Trebek for not recognizing him right off the bat when we met, but I'm afraid that doing so would extend the jinx to an even more harmful effect, even if the amends were in the form of a question:
"What obscure Sacramento scribbler will feel responsible if his apologies for not making a fuss over you results in your being replaced on Jeopardy by Dame Edna?"
I’m sorry, but I just can't risk further jeopardizing Mr. Trebek that way.
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Comments and Indictments: Please let me know if you wish to unsubscribe. -- MB
Did he really say, “Whenever you have a celebrity visitor, try to make a bit of a fuss over him?” 'Cause, if he did, I may have to rethink the opinion I was in the process of forming about him. Not that I think of him one way or the other. Nice piece! -- Beaty
Yup, he did.
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<3 your stories, TomatoMike -- Pirate
And I heart you right back. -- MB
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Keep em coming Mike I read the shit outa these things you do
and enjoy ‘em too -- Nick
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Just send out fewer of these...once a week or so should be fine, that way we don't get inundated. People are busy these days but making time to read this shouldn't be that hard, they're fun to read. Thanks! -- QB
Good point -- MB
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I've always thought that you or Surf would make a fine Jeopardy contestant. Remember when EHSAL [an AOL screen name] was on "Millionaire"? And we were her "phone-a-friend" backups? (Sitting at home praying the phone didn't ring...) And the only unsubscribe request with my name on it will come from one of my relatives. If you get it, it will mean I've passed on. -- Sum
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What? Unsubscribe? Blasphemy!!! I wouldn't want to miss your missives, ever. Doyle, for instance, is etched in gold in this otherwise feeble brain of mine. Keep 'em coming, Mike! -- Len
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I've been of fan of Mr. Trebek's for years so this resonated with me. -- Rusty
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'His Trebekness' was brilliant. -- Ldy W
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Hey TomatoDork! Naah, keep me on your list. You make me feel superior, you sorry old hack you. -- Zip
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Never take me off your list -- L. G. Vernon
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Anybody who "unsubscribes" to your work is CRAZY!!!! -- Pross
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My father and I sat and did the Jeopardy thing every so often over the years, right up until the last few weeks of his life. My Dad was bright - very bright - and while I am reasonably intelligent regarding the trivia in the world, I couldn't catch him with a well-oiled baseball mitt and Mickey Mantle's hand under it to help me along. Dad was really good at it.
I hardly think you were responsible for Alex's injuries. I mean, we are all in charge of our own running-with-older-Achilles tendon injuries, regardless of the peripheral events.
Jeez, I like Alex. However aided by a screen of perfect answers, he pronounces those cities in Siberia and Mongolia so perfectly I can't help but wonder how he is in bed. -- Z.
You didn't put that thought in the form of a question. -- MB
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I enjoyed reading this essay. I am reading an interesting novel, Juliet, Naked by NIck Hornby. The book focuses on a celebrity musician's life. I really enjoyed About a Boy, another book by Hornby. I read it three times and also enjoyed the movie version. -- Ken
