Good News Bad News

First, the good news:

Here's my new world headquarters in the Mission Valley area of San Diego owned by Don and Karen Simons.  Last year they forcibly uprooted me from Sacramento and transplanted me in one of their rentals for a very token sum, which they claim is a needed tax write-off.   Riiiiight.  Considering the rental prices for comparable places in this Southern California coastal market, I feel like a bandit.   Not that I'm inclined to reform, mind you, but I have just enough of a conscience to feel mildly guilty now and then.

Not shown is a Great Big TV and a balcony the looks like a miniature Hanging Gardens Of Babylon.  Karen Simons is a gardening demon and doesn't understand people with black thumbs, like me. 

Anyway, I'm as happy as a clam at high tide here.  And with San Diego's maritime climate, I won't wilt as I did during the triple digit summertime temperatures in the Sacramento Valley. 

This must be karma, of sorts.  Maybe I earned it by not shoving the elderly down elevator shafts in a previous life.

Now here's the bad news:  Cracker Jack will no longer include paper toys in its bags of caramelized popcorn, and I bet you'll find fewer candied peanuts, too.  It was bad enough when Cracker Jack stopped including plastic and sometimes metal prizes and substituted paper ones in its boxes of sticky delight, but now -- are you ready for this? --  Cracker Jack prizes are going digital!   

An outrage!  Worse, Crackerjacks aren't even in boxes, but in environmentally harmful plastic bags that take a thousand years to biodegrade, pollute beaches and strangle Harp seals! Okay, I made up the part about Harp seals. Only plastic beverage rings do that.  But still, does Crack Jack management have no shame?  No sense of history? 

 Well, here's some history I swiped from Inquisitr.com:

"Cracker Jack was the invention of Frederick William Rueckheim, a German immigrant known informally as “Fritz,” and his brother, who sold popcorn in Chicago beginning in 1871, according to CrackerJack.com.

According to an urban legend, Rueckheim produced a popcorn confection and presented it to the public at the World’s Columbian Exposition (Chicago’s first world’s fair) in 1896. The sweet confection became even more popular and associated with baseball when Jack Norwith penned baseball’s anthem, “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” urging baseball-goers to “buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks,” during a 30-minute subway ride in 1908. The music to accompany Norwith’s lyrics was written by Albert Von Tilzer."

Whenever I get bad news or my cable bill, I feel like sulking in my tent, like Achilles.  Only I don't have a tent. I have a very nice place in a really swell city with some built-in friends.  Makes it hard to sulk that way.  Same with felony snacking.

And now I want some Cracker Jack -- even if it's in a sad droopy bag instead of an All American stand up carton.  Now, if Donald Trump really wants to Make America Great Again, he should buy Crack Jack from Frito-Lay and put it back in the box along with some real prizes.

If you care to comment/encourage/criticize or insult, e-mail tomatomike@aol.com.

What a LOVELY PLACE! I love San Diego! So happy that you have such a nice place, Mike! -- Tab

An uncannily timely message!  Just TWO NIGHTS ago, Vern, Anthony, and I were eating Cracker Jack, 6 boxes of which I had purchased at 3 for a dollar, as we watched the Blues beat the Dallas Stars in the Stanley Cup playoffs. We marveled at the cheesiness of the new prizes, and Anthony downloaded the app or whatever that makes the little paper "prize" animate on the screen or whatever in the hell it does. I remember when Cracker Jack toys were real and touchable and... and... made of things like REAL PLASTIC.

But on to the first, and more important, part of your mail. WHAT A GORGEOUS APARTMENT YOU HAVE. And I can think of no one who deserves such a living space more than you, my long-time Tomato friend. I'm so glad you have good friends who actually live close enough to you to hang out in person. Wish I had the same privilege! -- Margie

Wait a minute. Crackjacks are still sold in boxes? I am verklempt. – MB 

It does my heart good to see you in this beautiful place – Lynda

I love your new home and the people who were kind enough to drag you out of your valley inferno. As for Cracker Jack(s), I was a fan until I got a peanut. I didn't like them mixed in with my caramelized corn. Glad you're writing on a more frequent basis!
-- Beaty

Great digs!!!  Hugs to the landlords for kidnapping you. I am calling dibs on the chair in the corner when I come to visit. – Tammy

Do your friends need any more friends?  – White Sport Coat

Sure, but I think they're out of condominiums. – MB

Niiiiiice digs! I eat neither sugar nor corn, so the Cracker Jack thing doesn't offend me, one iota. – Ellen

You're no fun.  -- MB

The good news is splendid! The bad news funny:) Sooo glad your living situation is amazing! – Julisari

Plastic bags get ingested by sea turtles who think they're jellyfish. I kid you not. Screw Cracker Jacks. Werthers now makes a caramel popcorn. It's reallly addicting. Came across it at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Tad bit more expensive than CJ, but definitely better. Did I mention addicting. I don't know about other people, but I can finish one off all by myself, no problem.  If you get bored, and feeling adventurous, I have a caramel popcorn recipe that's better than CJ, too. You can burn the caramel sauce and it will taste a lot like CJ. -- Brat

Please send. MB

First, nice digs, Mr.  I'm so glad you've got a good place to sit and write these great pieces and to do stuff.  It's important. Second, for cryin' out loud.  Not only do I now have to remember that when I was a kid my great-uncle Billy gave me an entire tin stuffed with all of the GREAT old Cracker Jack toys he had saved - and then I squandered them away, AND I have to face it that now I'm allergic to peanuts, I can't even get a damn BOX of Cracker Jack, throw out the peanuts in favor of the admittedly mediocre present-day "prize" – but I won't now get a prize at all?   WTF?  The world just sucks sometimes, and sometimes Cracker Jack makers have questionable sense, I just want SOMETHING to stay like it was.  No change.  Same toys, same peanuts, same popcorn, same box.  Would it kill you to just leave it alone?    Tsk.  A travesty. – Zoey.

That's tellin' em, Lady Z – MB