The Lady Karen gave me the gift of a can opener. Not just any can opener, but a Super Turbo Z-88 can opener that could have been designed by NASA for the Space Shuttle. She saw me struggling with my old squeeze and twist can opener that left finger-slicing edges on the lid, and decided it was a hazard to myself and others. So she sent me a can opener made of Space Age composites that rounded the edges of the lid, allowing the operator to pop open a can of Boston baked beans without causing a trip to the emergency room.

The can opener came with a page of illustrated instructions which I ignored as I tried to fit the can opener to a can of Boston baked beans without success. I tried several or maybe a dozen more times when an annoyingly smug Internal Voice Of Quiet Reason muttered a 12-Step bromide in my mind: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

"Shut up," I explained to myself, then continued my war of wills with the can opener, augmenting the effort with some heartfelt swearing. No luck. No beans either.

I took a break. The accursed Internal Voice spoke up again while I brooded with the can of Boston baked beans in one hand and the can opener in the other. "Try reading the directions, smart guy," it said in a bored snotty tone.

I read the directions and saw what I was doing wrong. I was zigging when I should be zagging. Doing that was pitting the can opener and the can of Boston baked beans in an unholy alliance against me.

So I stopped swearing and become the direction abiding Can Whisperer. It worked. Off popped the top with its edges safely rounded. My smartassed Internal Voice hummed the Halleljuah chorus.

So my thanks to The Lady Karen for the gift of the can opener and the can opener's gift of humility. Humility is an underrated virtue. It means an absence of pride, which is an overrated vice. Pride is also the first among the Seven Deadly Sins, and not one of the fun ones either.  Pride causes more trouble than a hijacked airliner or a classroom full of sugared up middle school kids. It even lets prideful dummies think they are smarter than a can opener.